The Hyuuga Persuasion
by Silverlight
Summary: Tenten learns the consequences of accidentally turning down a date from Neji.
1. Sacrifice

_Notes_: **cowritten with CCS AnGeL**. We're both insane. Written in the wee hours of dawn from August-September, so pre-chapter 238. Kindasorta Neji/Tenten.

(reuploaded for some minor edits and things i didn't catch before; and yes, this is a multi-parter; 8 parts, to be exact).

2005.02.08: reuploaded again because FFN got rid of some of the ellipses. People, you need to tell me when I'm missing things.

Part One: Sacrifice

Their mouths dropped open as they watched the tree crash to the ground. Tenten winced when Neji started on a fourth, and even Lee was rendered speechless by the time the seventh tree met its doom.

Apparently Neji didn't like forests. Or something.

"Neji, my prodigy, what is with the environmental destruction today? Did the innocent trees do something to interfere with your budding youth?" Tenten suppressed a groan. Her teacher would HAVE to make things worse, wouldn't he, she thought, watching in awe as the tenth tree knocked over an eleventh.

"No." The short answer would normally have deterred most sane people. Then again, Gai wasn't exactly sane.

"Then Neji, tell me what is the matter! Your teacher will help you put things to right so you can enjoy the springtime of your youth once more!"

"No."

"Neji!" pleaded Gai, slinging his arm around the boy's shoulders. Neji shrugged it off immediately. "You must confide in me!"

"No."

"At this rate, Konoha's forests will be decimated!"

"And?"

"The wildlife will not survive! Konoha will lose her springtime! Why even," and Gai slipped into a conspiratorial whisper, "the squirrels will have no place to live."

"I don't care."

"Neji!" Lee roused himself from his stupor at the mention of "squirrels." "I cannot allow you to destroy our natural habitat! The squirrels will not be left homeless!" Lee struck a pose. Tenten couldn't even remember what it was called, but she knew it was the seventy-eighth pose in Lee's repertoire. "I will defeat you or do seven hundred push ups with only one arm!"

Tenten groaned. Not only was her teacher insane, but her teammate as well. But then again, this wasn't news.

"Neji," she started, "don—"

Oh shit. Did he just slip into _that _stance? Lee was fucked.

"Lee, I don't thin—"

"Tenten, I will protect the squirrels, even if it costs my life!" declared the boy, his eyebrows stringing together as he frowned with concentration.

So Tenten did the only thing she could do. She got out of their way. "Sensei, aren't you going to stop them?"

"Tenten, you need to understand. Young males, whether they are tigers, stags or humans, have this primal urge to FIGHT one another from time to time." He grinned at her, the whites of his teeth still startling and frightening her a bit. "When that happens, you don't get involved."

"But—"

"Not even as their teacher, would I be willing to get involved." He winked and gave her a thumbs up. "Don't worry, they won't kill on—"

Lee screamed.

"Oh shit." Gai ran to stop the fight.

"You were SAYING Gai-sensei?" Tenten muttered as she whipped bandages and antiseptic out of the first aid kit with the ease of long practice. She glanced over her shoulder to assess the damage, and lugged the entire kit with her, just in case.

"Of course, tend to him first." Neji's voice was cool. She shivered at the implied insult behind it.

"He's severely hurt, Neji! And unconscious! What has gotten into you today?"

". . . nothing." He glared at Lee's prone body. "He pissed me off."

"He did no more than he usually does," snapped Tenten, unwrapping the bandages around Lee's hands so she could check them for damage. "Look, Neji," she said, pausing for a moment, "if this is about yesterday. . ."

"Yesterday?" Gai perked up. Neji's eyes narrowed.

"It's not."

"Then what has gotten INTO YOU?"

"Nothing."

Her lips tightened into a thin line. He was really pissing her off. Then again, this wasn't new. "Fine," she said, turning her attention back to Lee. By the time Lee regained consciousness Neji had disappeared. She tried her best to ignore the shouts going on in the village.

"What happened?" Lee was groggy. Gai nearly sobbed.

"Oh Lee! You've returned to the land of the living! You will not waste the flower of your youth any longer!"

"Neji kicked you and you hit the tree pretty hard," Tenten answered, motioning towards the tree that had been the cause of it all, watching her teacher and teammate hug warily. You never knew when they would break out into random sparkles. "I think you broke the fall with your head. Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?"

"Yes," the boy answered happily. "Seven."

". . .you better lie back down for a moment," Tenten said, pushing him back down. "Gai-sensei, let him _go._"

"Tenten?"

"Yes Lee?" She was putting away their medical supplies. She reminded herself to get it restocked as soon as possible. They really went through it much too quickly for her liking.

"Did I save the squirrels at least?"

She sighed, brushing her bangs off her forehead in an impatient move. "Yes you did."

"Good." The boy seemed content to lie there, having his teacher sob over him. Lee did like attention. "Oh, Tenten?"

"Yes?"

"What did you do to make Neji so mad?"

"Um. . ." she rolled the last of the bandaging very slowly. "What makes you think he's mad at me?"

Lee snorted. It was uncharacteristic coming from the happy boy. Then again, he was suffering from a head injury. "Tenten, you're the only one that affects him this way."

"Not true," she muttered. "There's also his family."

It was Gai's turn to snort. "There's that also."

"You never make Neji angry," continued Lee. "Sensei and I always do, but you're always very careful around Neji. So what did you do?"

Tenten rubbed her forehead as she closed the medical kit. "I turned him down."

". . .WHAT!"

"I didn't mean to!" she wailed.

Gai frowned. "No wonder he was unfocused today. But Tenten, I thought you enjoyed life! You're still a blooming flower in the springtime of your youth! Why would you do such a thing?"

She sighed, snapping the medical kit shut. "He asked me to train with him."

Lee blinked, clearly not possessing all of his mental functions yet. "So? Don't you train with him all the time? And you're holding up three fingers."

She took her hand away from his face, allowing him to sit up cautiously. "Yes, but usually when we train, it's for _his _benefit. But this time, he wanted to train _me._"

"Don't look at me like that," she said, sounding cross and not caring.

"AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A DATE?"

"How was I supposed to know? Normal guys do not ask girls to TRAIN with them as a DATE!" she retorted.

"Hmm, yes, I see your point," Gai said, fingering his chin. "What did you say when he asked you?"

"I told him that I had to go home and help with dinner and that I wouldn't be able to."

Lee and Gai stared at Tenten.

"What?" she snapped.

"Tenten, I have a solution for your troubles," Gai intoned. Tenten shifted uneasily.

"You do?"

He leaned forward so that he could stare at her in the face. She resisted the urge to back away from her teacher. "RUN!"

"WHAT? THAT'S YOUR SOLUTION?"

Lee nodded. "I agree Sensei. Tenten, you need to run far, far away."

". . .I was thinking of apologizing, you know," she said. Her team was made of lunatics, she thought.

Gai and Lee shook their heads in tandem. "You've made an enemy of Neji, Tenten. You need to run! Run into the mountains!"

". . .you're mad," she muttered. "Can't I just apologize?"

Gai and Lee gaped at her. "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH HYUUGA NEJI? ARE YOU INSANE?" they screeched.

"I'll place you in the witness protection program! Your family and the Hokage will understand. Jiraiya-sama will accompany you, and you can live in the mountains. I'll come visit you every month to bring you provisions so you won't become a hermit by living in the mountains an—"

"Sensei, I am NOT going anywhere with Jiraiya-sama. He asked me to pose for his next volume of that book of his."

"Tenten," Gai reached over and put his hands on her shoulders, shaking them with all the force of the passion in him. She felt nauseated. "My flower, my beautiful peony, you mustn't waste your youth attached to Neji. It's. . .not healthy." By now he was sobbing on her right shoulder with Lee clinging to her left. "You will thrive in adversity, Tenten!"

"I am NOT running away with Jiraiya-sama," she said. "Can't you imagine what his reaction would be like?"

They all thought for a moment, and shuddered. Some things were too much for even Gai and Lee to handle.

"Sensei," Lee said, sounding ill, "Sending her to live with him is a bit. . .extreme."

Gai nodded, looking rather green. "Perhaps. But we must think of something!"

"I guess I'll just have to apologize." She lived to be fifteen; it would be a good time to die.

They stared at her. It was really quite disconcerting since they had to look up at her since they were still clinging onto her for dear life. "Tenten," Lee said, his words coming out slow, "do you actually LIKE Neji?"

". . .That's none of your business," she huffed, shoving her teacher and teammate off of her. They fell in a heap.

"Don't worry Tenten," Lee said, rising slowly to his feet. "I'll protect you from the likes of Hyuuga Neji! No matter what may happen, he will not be allowed to lay a hand on you! That," and he grinned, going into his nice guy pose. Tenten resisted the urge to groan. "is my promise." His teeth went _ping!_

"I'm just going to apologize," she muttered, clambering to her feet. "Much easier than running into the mountains with Jiraiya-sama."

"I wouldn't count on that," muttered Gai and Lee, but she ignored them.

-

She had to find Neji. She paused for a second, listening to the screams. She might as well take the scenic route and figure out how much death and devastation he had carved, she thought. She sighed. How the hell was she supposed to get Neji to stop with a mere apology?

She stopped short at the sight of ruin that lay before her. Store roofs were broken; some even taken off completely. Naruto's favourite ramen shop was missing a wall and—were those deer running around the streets?

"Oi," a voice said from behind her. "Do you see something wrong with this picture?"

Tenten whirled around and came face to face with a very annoyed Shikamaru. He wasn't really angry, as it took too much energy to be angry. Nevertheless, he was wearing his patented "I-am-so-very-annoyed-because-you-are-making-me-do-something-troublesome-and-it's-cutting-into-my-cloud-watching-time" face. "Um. . . no?" she tried.

This was somehow her fault. Shit. Where was Jiraiya-sama when she needed him? This would be the perfect chance to run away with him to a dark, desolate—oh God. She wasn't THAT desperate. Not yet, anyway.

He pointed to his house and then to a white fence, which had a monstrous hole in it. "Do you see that hole in the fence?"

". . . Yes," she admitted. They watched a deer trying to slurp from a bowl of ramen.

"STOP IT YOU STUPID DEER—GIMME BACK MY RAMEN!" someone yelled. Both Tenten and Shikamaru watched with equally bemused expressions as Naruto chased the deer off and proceeded to avenge his bowl of ramen by running after the deer.

Shikamaru sighed. He sighed again when Naruto flew into the garbage can. He should've known it was smarter than Naruto. "Do you see the empty deer pen?"

". . . yes," she said in a small voice, putting her face in her hands.

"Now, what's missing?" he asked as he wrangled a deer back in the pen, trying to cover the hole with his body. Damn, this was too troublesome for words.

"Shikamaru-kun. . ." she felt horribly guilty now. This was Neji's work all right. He never did anything half assed. She was sort of surprised he didn't slaughter the deer while he was at it.

Within minutes he managed to get three of the six deer back, still using his body as a makeshift plug. She managed to rein one in with her chakra strings, and he gave her a nod of thanks. "What did you do to piss Neji off anyway?" he asked, wincing when the deer that made Naruto launch himself into the garbage head butted him in the rear. "I better get the afternoon off for doing this crap. . ."

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO NEJI! WHY IS IT MY FAULT!" she screamed. Thankfully, it was mostly drowned out by Naruto's epithets, which were getting more colourful by the second.

"No one else affects him this way," he said dryly, raising an eyebrow at the ramen shop roof, which picked that particular moment to implode.

Tenten scoffed. "HIS FAMILY DOES!" She felt the ridiculous urge to add "So there!" but restrained herself. Barely.

"Yeah, them too," he agreed as Naruto finally got out of the garbage can and chased the rest of the deer back into the pen. "I heard you turned him down and now he's going on a homicidal rampage," he added.

". . ." Gai and Lee were dead. They were so dead, they were dead _yesterday_. The chuunin noted her expression and mumbled something about finding the rest of the family deer.

She bid goodbye to Shikamaru, wished him luck on fixing his fence (he might have said something about troublesome girls under his breath, but she wasn't quite sure) and made her way to find Neji.

"All I have to do is follow the path of destruction," she laughed a little in spite of herself. Was she insane? Going to confront Neji? Neji on a rampage? It was a death wish waiting to happen. Getting groped on a daily basis by Jiraiya-sama in their hidden cave almost sounded appealing.

She followed the booming sound. It could only be Neji, she thought, circling her way back into the forest. How bad could it be? Sure, he's got issues with his family, and he's sort of a homicidal freak, but at the worst, he could only be. . .surrounded by at least a dozen fallen trees. "Hey Neji, you think you have time to train me today?" she asked, walking behind him. She took care to be very nonchalant. Now would not be the time to make him think that this was a pity date.

". . ." He didn't even turn around to face her. She could see his shoulders were tense. Shit. He could kill her and no one would hear her scream. Or if they did, they wouldn't help her anyway. You don't piss off the Hyuuga prodigy and live.

"I wanted to. . . apologize," she chose her words with as much precision and care as she could. "I really did want to train with you, but my mother needed my help. She's a terrible cook, you see, and my grandparents were coming to visit," she said in one breath.

She coughed a little. There has to be an easier way, she thought. "So. . . still up for it?" She gave him her best smile, knowing he could see it. Please let him fall for this, she begged. Please.

". . . fine," he relented. There was no inflection in his voice. "Meet me here in an hour."

"Sure." Oh this is bad, she thought. What did I get myself into?

-

She walked slowly and painfully towards the training site the next morning. She would make it, she vowed. She definitely would. She got up two hours early to do this.

"Tenten!" Lee ran to her side, slinging her arm around his shoulder the moment he caught sight of her. She leaned most of her weight onto him, and he grunted. "What happened?"

"Training with Neji," she said through gritted teeth. Even with her numbed arms, she could feel Lee stiffen in sympathy.

"Oooh." He paused to offer her a piggyback; she accepted. Screw pride; she had spent three hours training with Hyuuga Neji last night. "Tenten, are you sure. . .?"

"No." She let her arms hang loosely around Lee's shoulders. It hurt too much to try to hold on.

"I should've gone with the pervert," she muttered.

"What pervert?"

Lee jumped, making Tenten slide off his back with a jarring thump. She almost cried. They were SO CLOSE. A few more steps and she would've made it.

"What pervert?" repeated Neji.

"Uh, nothing," chorused Lee and Tenten. The girl gave up her dignity, and let Lee pick her up. She could feel Neji's eyes following their every move, but at this point, she could care less.

"I'll meet you in the school's indoor dojo. Your genjutsu is weak," Neji said.

There was no way in hell she was training tonight. No way. He could trash all of Konoha for all she cared, but there was just no way. "Uh, Neji?" It hurt to move her lips even.

He looked at her. ". . ."

Ah shit. ". . .I look forward to tonight."

He nodded and left before he could see the tears welling in her eyes.

"Don't worry Tenten." Lee gave her a reassuring smile. "Gai-sensei and I will leave you expensive offerings every day on your grave! And we'll offer prayers every night! Your brave sacrifice will not be forgotten!"

"Make that three times a day," groaned Tenten. "You can skip praying for my soul; I think this training is karmic payback enough."

Lee grinned. "Done," he said, dropping her on the ground long enough to do his good guy pose. Her muscles screamed.

"On second thought, my mortal soul could still use some help."

"I'll pray twice a day," her teammate promised generously.

Maybe the mountains weren't such a bad idea.


	2. Little Laughing Gods

_Notes: _Cowritten with **CCS AnGeL00**. Kindasorta Neji/Tenten. Short chapter, but the next one should make up for its length. I'll post that in a few days when I have time.

Part Two: Little Laughing Gods

It hurt to breathe, blink, think, and sometimes. . . oh hell, she just hurt. She had been training with Neji for a week, and it was quite possibly the most hellish week she had ever experienced. "Dating" Neji was hell. There was no other way to describe it.

After pelting Neji with no less than three hundred sharp pointy objects, she decided it was time to declare mutiny. "Neji, I'm hungry," she said, collapsing. Her bangs clung to her forehead, and her eyes stung from sweat.

"Food is for the weak." Was that his idea of a joke? It was so funny she forgot to laugh.

She struggled to sit up, her ribs crying out in pain. "Neji, I'm not moving another inch unless I get food."

Neji eyed her carefully, leaning his back against a tree. "Tenten, I want to tell you something."

Tenten finally sat up and started picking stray leaves out of her hair. "Unless it's the number to a restaurant I really don't feel like hearing it."

"I want to show you the Byakugan's weak spot."

From behind a bush, Lee and Gai gasped and then covered each other's mouths. Neji's weak spot? He was openly showing it to—GASP! This meant—

Unfortunately, Tenten wasn't paying attention. ". . .yeah, great. So food?" She finally managed to stand up. She began to brush herself off very slowly until she became aware of Neji's gaze. She gulped. Then, for some reason unbeknownst to her, he clenched his bandaged hand, his dark brows dipped dangerously low, and his pale eyes looked rather murderous. Oh shit. What had she done?

Gai nodded from his hiding spot. Neji had proclaimed his love. It would only be a matter of time now. He then frowned, lost in thought. Tenten was apparently suicidal. No matter; love would fix this. Ahh, youth.

Lee, on the other hand, was not so thrilled. He curled up into a ball of sadness from behind the bush. "He was going to show her his **_weak spot_**!" he jumped out before Gai could stop him. "NEJI GOT A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE I DID!" he wailed, the tears streaming down his face.

"I am not Neji's girlfriend!" as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew that she was screwed.

". . ." said Neji.

Oh shit. She was really screwed.

Without another word, he turned on his heel and left. She counted up to twenty-three before she heard the first explosion. She sighed. "I better go after him."

"Thank you for your sacrifice, Tenten-sama!" Lee bowed to her.

"Shut up, Lee. Just shut up," she left Lee and Gai to themselves in pursuit of Neji. She really hoped she caught him before he started exploding things that weren't buildings. Like people. Oh shit, how was she going to apologize?

She walked through the village, shocked to find the ramen shop (among other things) nearly totalled. AGAIN.

"Oi. . .can't you just tell him you love him too?" a haggard looking Shikamaru greeted her. Pieces of hair escaped his ponytail; he was currently missing his right earring. The left pant leg looked as though someone or something had been gnawing on it. "I can't take much more of this. This situation has gone beyond troublesome," he gestured toward the brand new hole in the fence. It was larger than last time. The deer were also missing. Again. "This is just pissing me off now."

Tenten crossed her arms over her chest. "He offered to show me Byakugan's blind spot, Shikamaru-kun. What does that have to do with LOVE?" She bent down and pulled one deer back to the Nara residence using her chakra strings. "And how did you know about that anyway?"

Shikamaru leaned against the shaky fence, making an annoyed sound as he gazed up at the clouds. He could still hear his harpy mother's voice ringing in his ears. He tried to explain it wasn't his fault the damn deer escaped but nooo—"No offence, Tenten, but this is Hyuuga Neji we're talking about here. Showing you his weakness is practically a marriage proposal."

Oh shit. "Are you sure that was a declaration of love?"

He dragged a tiny deer away from the broken ramen stand and promptly put it back in the pen. "Tenten, this is _Neji_; no one else affects him in the same way."

"HIS FAMILY!" she argued. Why did no one understand this?

Shikamaru nodded. "True that. Shit. . . this is way too troublesome. Why do I have to do all this work? And why the hell is it always my house that gets ruined by Neji's hissy fits?"

"Oh, he's still secretly bitter you're a chuunin," she pointed out and gazed at the ramen shop. "And that's Naruto-kun's favourite place to eat. He's probably still pissed off that Naruto beat him in a fight. Which reminds me. . . why didn't you try and stop him from making the hole in the fence?"

He looked at her like she was insane. "I'm too much of a coward. Normal Neji could kick my ass in his sleep. Deal with a rejected Neji? Hell no." Shikamaru smacked himself in the forehead as one of the deer gnawed on a terrified little kid's hair. "I have to go get these damn deer back before my mom bursts a blood vessel. Later."

"Wait, Shikamaru-kun! I need more smart boy insight!" she called after him, though he was long gone. Damn. She was so screwed.

-

Dammit. It was trees again. She counted and groaned. At this rate, Konoha would become a desert, and it'd be all her fault. After all, Neji had only felled about three hundred some odd trees in the last week alone.

"A desert sounds nice. It'd be a change of scenery. I can beg Tsunade-sama for a pass, move to the Sand village, change my name, dye my hair and maybe even cut it," she muttered, rubbing her head. "Hell, I can get back at that peroxide bitch for kickin—"

"I like your hair."

She nearly jumped out of her skin. "Neji, you SCARED me," she squeaked. The Hyuuga prodigy leaned against a tree (she noticed it was the only one left standing within a hundred foot radius).

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold and sent shivers down her spine. She gulped. The mountains would be nice at this time of the year, right?

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tomorrow night," she said, trying to be perky. Yes, perky was good. Perky was _safe_. "And I wanted to apologize for earlier," she added hastily before he could open his mouth. Food is _not _for the weak, she chanted mentally. "I was just worn out."

"I'm having dinner with my family tomorrow."

She was very careful not to look so hopeful. "So does that mean we don't train tomorrow?" Someone up there must really love her today.

"We'll train in the morning instead. Meet me at sunrise."

Then again, the little gods had their sick little jokes too.

-

"Stand up Tenten."

"I can't," she groaned, levering herself up to her elbows. Her arm slipped on the wet leaves, and she fell back down. The ground was nice and soft. A little mushy, and a little wet, but who was she to complain? Then again, maybe she should just go back to bed. "It's _raining,_ Neji, and it's far too early for anyone to be up. Can't we postpone this to tomorrow?"

"A ninja must be prepared to fight in any element," he recited tonelessly, watching her with an impassive expression.

"Yeah, well screw you too," she muttered, flicking a kunai in his general direction. He caught it easily.

"Your aim is off. You need to build your stamina," he remarked, tossing the sharp object back to her. She barely managed to catch it.

"I'm _tired_. I've been up since before dawn, and I haven't even had breakfast yet," she said, painfully crawling to her feet. "Not to mention that it's _pouring_ and I've had less than five hours of sleep. Can't we continue this after your dinner tonight?"

He paused. "No. Dinner will take too long."

She suppressed a sigh of relief. It looked like he was actually going to be _reasonable _today. Maybe he wanted to go back to bed too.

"My uncle wants to meet you."

What was she saying? Hyuuga Neji was _never _reasonable.

"WHAT!"

"We have dinner at eight. It'll be a formal affair."

". . .I don't have anything to _wear!"_

"Go out and buy something." Oh sure, she could _so _afford an outfit that wouldn't put her to shame in the Hyuuga household. What the hell was Neji thinking?

"You haven't even KISSED ME YET," she screeched. Thunder rumbled in counterpoint to her hysteria.

He raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anything?"

". . ." She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't CARE if he razed Konoha to the ground. She didn't CARE if she ended up on Konoha's Most Wanted List, and she most certainly didn't give two SHITS about living in the mountains with the pervert anymore. "And don't give me that," she snapped. "You usually tell the girl that you LIKE HER and stuff like that BEFORE you introduce her to your family."

"Stuff like that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Most guys HOLD THEIR GIRLFRIEND'S HAND, or WHISPER SWEET ENDEARMENTS IN HER EAR, or even," and her voice took on a noticeably shrill note, "BUY HER A FRIGGIN' BOX OF CHOCOLATES!" Shit. She was really losing it.

"And FLOWERS AREN'T THAT DIFFICULT ARE THEY? THEY GROW ALL AROUND THE FRIGGIN' PLACE! Oh, wait, EXCUSE ME! I forgot that flowers are an ENDANGERED SPECIES around here since you've decided to become the lumberjack from HELL!"

"Don't you '. . .' at me, Hyuuga Neji."

"I said I liked your hair."

That was his idea of romance?And was he _sulking?_ "Look," she took a deep breath. Calm Tenten; what would Tsunade-sama do? "I need a day off, okay? Just one day? My parents have been wondering where I've been lately."

"Parents. . ."

Oh shit. She forgot about his angst. He had no dad. Right. Shit shit shit. Tsunade-sama would probably knock him out with her pinky. Unfortunately, she didn't have that option. "I'm tired. Just forget what I said."

"I'll see you at eight then."

She watched him disappear before slumping against a tree. A squirrel looked out of his hiding hole to peer at her. Was the little rodent _chittering _at her? This wasn't happening, she thought wildly. She buried her face into her hands.

"Why?" she sobbed. "Why me?"

The squirrel continued to chitter. The little gods were definitely laughing at her. Definitely.


	3. Dinner with the Hyuugas

_Notes: _cowritten with CCS AnGeL00. And no, we don't hate Tenten.

Part Three: Dinner with the Hyuugas

When Tenten finally managed to drag her weary body home, her mother swept her soaked daughter up in her arms. Tenten peered over her mother's shoulder. Were those the family jewels on the kitchen table? And since WHEN did they have a jewelled dagger as a hair ornament?

"Sweetheart, I heard the news! You're having dinner with the Hyuugas tonight!" She held her daughter back at arms length, examining her critically. With quick motions, she pulled out the buns in Tenten's hair, ignoring her daughter's exclamations. "First you'll need a shower, and I'll have to brush out your hair. Your usual style will certainly not do tonight. Then we'll go shopping for a kimono. I think we need to go with a white theme with you, hon."

"Does EVERYONE know about Neji and I?" Tenten wailed, sounding plaintive.

Her mother twirled her around excitedly. "Of course dear; you've been the talk of the town for weeks!"

". . .we HAVE?"

"Of course. The dear boy has been so emotional these last few weeks. We all knew that this was going to happen sooner or later; only you have that effect on him."

Tenten groaned. Not this again. "Mom, his FAMILY!"

"Oh yes. Them too. Now, hurry to the shower. I'll have to go empty our family vault for your kimono. Too bad you can't use these lacy thigh holsters tonight; they're useful for storing weapons AND sexy. Neji-kun would faint."

"MOM!" Her mother did NOT just say that.

"Though they'd be useful anyway. If anything, you could flash Neji-kun with them."

". . ." this was so not her mother. This was SOMEONE masquerading as her mother.

"No need to be embarrassed, sweetheart. After all, you're practically engaged. Wait until your wedding night."

"I'M ONLY FIFTEEN!" she shrieked.

"That's the age most ninja start thinking about settling down, dear. You're just precocious that's all," her mother told her, holding a pair of earrings up to her daughter's face. "Yes, these will suit your complexion quite nicely."

"Mom, we're not even ENGAGED! He hasn't even ASKED ME!"

"He did offer to tell you his blind spot didn't he?" her mother queried, rummaging through the jewelled wealth on the table. "Too bad gold washes you out; these earrings would've been lovely."

". . .Mom, are those POISONED DARTS?"

"The antidote is in the brooch if you're worried. Now go shower while I go empty the family vault; we're going shopping, just us two girls."

". . .Mom, it's only a dinner. Dad would FLIP if he found it empty, anyway." This was so not happening to her. It couldn't be.

Her mother grinned. "Actually, your father suggested it sweetheart. He even borrowed some of this stuff here from your aunt. Now, go shower," her mother shooed her, shoving towels in her arms. "Hurry; we don't have much time. It's already ten."

Sometimes, thought Tenten as she stumbled into the bathroom, she really didn't understand her family.

-

She wasted five hours of her life shopping. _Five hours_ she could never get back! Her mother had dragged her from store to store, trying to find the right kimono for the Hyuuga formal dinner. While Tenten loved clothing (she knew she looked inhumanely cute in most things), she never thought she'd be shopping for Hyuuga Neji's approval. The thought alone made her brain twitch with confusion.

The sales lady at the last store had proclaimed she had been waiting for Tenten to come for weeks now, though she thought it would be for a wedding kimono. After nearly having a coronary on the floor, Tenten weakly assured the woman she only wanted a formal kimono.

After passing up on several disasters (green and yellow with pink stripes were just not working for her), she finally settled on what her mother declared was the most perfect kimono in the universe. It started out with a thin, white, cotton under robe under a beautiful while silk kimono with swirls of lilac mixed in. The sleeves nearly touched her ankles, but they were perfect for hiding scrolls within. After a few minutes of begging, the seamstress relented and put a small slit in a spot where the sleeve and the body of the kimono met, for easy access to her lace holster (her mother had nagged her until she cracked like cheap linoleum), which held a few shuriken and kunai. A navy blue obi wrapped around her waist and held her jewelled dagger firmly against her stomach. She had to wear the usual tabi and geta, but she had put a lace anklet on each of her ankles for even more artillery.

"I thought this was a dinner not a battle," her mother commented as she pulled Tenten's thick brown hair back into an elegant knot. She pinned it back with two silver combs that had razor sharp edges. The combs, while beautiful, could also double for weapons if Tenten ran out of the others (though that seemed _highly_ unlikely). Tenten reminded her that dinner with the Hyuuga's was more than a battle. It was a _war_. Truth be told, she always imagined life at their house one constant training exercise. Where else would Neji learn it?

Tenten stood up in front of the mirror and carefully put a pair of long silver chandelier earrings (they were detachable senbon) in her ears. She then proceeded to put a very special charm bracelet on her left hand. "Red is dead," she murmured out loud, mostly to remind herself that the charms with the red liquid in them were poisonous, "And white is all right. . . I think." She then threw on her red shawl and slipped on her geta and walked towards the Hyuuga estate. She stopped several times, looking longingly at the forest. She _could _just slip in there and conveniently forget about the dinner right?

_ No,_ her conscience said.

Damned conscience.

She stopped short in her tracks a few minutes later and blinked. The Hyuugas had quite an estate. Humungous wasn't even the word. She swallowed and glanced at the forest again.

Tenten was about to high tail it out of there when a familiar face popped out from the entrance.

"Good evening, Tenten-san," Hyuuga Hinata bowed, looking very pretty in an elaborate pink kimono which had the family emblem, a small flame surrounded by a circle at the bottom edge. "I'm glad you could make it," she smiled at the older girl, seeming a bit more confident than usual. Probably because Neji wasn't around to glare at her.

". . .hi Hinata-san," she greeted weakly. She had been caught and now there was no escape. Damn.

Hinata gave her an encouraging smile before taking the older girl on a quick tour of the estate. There had to be at least fifty rooms and it looked more like a small village than a house. The biggest shock though, was when she finally spotted Neji through the crowd of people.

He approached, making Hinata step back a bit. "You're three minutes late."

Tenten was about to shoot back with a snappy remark until she took a good look at Neji. She had never seen him in a formal kimono before and wow—she was blown away. He wore a plain black full length kimono, with grey hakama pants on top. Over that he donned a black haori with the Hyuuga flame on both sides. His hair was back in it's usual pony tail and on his forehead was his ninja headband. Snapping her jaw back into place, she mumbled, "Sorry."

"This is her, Neji-niisan?" a small, high, and rather obnoxious voice said from behind Neji. Hyuuga Hanabi looked at Tenten as if she wasn't fit to lick the dirt from her shoes. "Heh. She doesn't look strong at all. She's not that pretty either." Hanabi flounced away before Tenten had a chance to collect herself and nail the Demon Child with a few shuriken.

Hinata looked very distressed at the slight crease that appeared in the corner of Neji's mouth. Tenten herself was very familiar with the expression; that usually meant people got hurt. "Tenten-san, she didn't mean that. Hanabi can be very sweet, she's just. . ." Hinata trailed off, words failing her.

"Has your guest arrived, Neji?" a strong deep, voice asked, nearly scaring her out of her already scattered wits.

Tenten quickly bowed to Hiashi, feeling flushed. His presence demanded respect and. . .well, he looked like a grown up Neji. That alone scared the hell out of her.

"Pleased to meet you, sir. I am Tenten. Thank you very much for the invitation to dinner," she tried to look as demure as possible. Her heart was beating so loudly she was sure that Hiashi didn't need his byakugan to see how nervous she was.

"The pleasure is all mine," Hiashi assured her, looking over to Neji almost incredulously. The look seemed to say 'How the HELL did you get such a cute girl with _your_ personality?' "Dinner will be starting shortly. Please join us in the dining room."

She followed the Hyuuga's to the huge dining room and had to stifle a gasp when the door slid open. Her eyes bulged; damn, the room was bigger than Neji and Sasuke's egos _combined! _She belatedly noticed the number of dinner trays and cushions, and counted. Wasn't this only a family affair? There were so many individual trays that it looked like they'd all be squished, even in a room of this size. Was this some sort of celebration? Neji's birthday wasn't for months.

Everyone waited for Hiashi to kneel at his place at the head of the table before following suit. Tenten kneeled on a tatami mat on Hinata's right and directly across from Neji. A middle- aged Hyuuga relative sat next to her and he alternated between leering and winking at her. Yep, getting molested in the mountains by Jiraiya-sama would have been the smarter choice.

The servants promptly served them onigiri and miso soup. She blinked when they served her first, as usually a guest of honour was served before anyone else. She bowed to the attendant anyway, not wanting to insult the Hyuuga's if she could help it. Everyone received their bowls and bowed to Hiashi and announced in unison they would now be partaking in the feast.

"Tenten, you're a member of Neji's ninja squad, are you not?" Hiashi asked as the bottle of sake was passed around.

Tenten nearly jumped when she felt something, or someone caress her knee. Of course, it was the Pervy Hyuuga Fancier. He smirked. "Y-yes, sir," she choked out, moving a bit closer to Hinata. "For the last three years."

"And you specialize in weaponry," he put his bowl down, giving her his undivided attention.

She gulped. Neji was glaring at his uncle. "Yes, sir." She clenched her chopsticks when the Pervy Hyuuga fancier's hand started to fondle her knee. Did he realize that she was fully armed?

"And what are you hoping to accomplish as a ninja?"

Tenten cleared her throat as she put her hands in her lap. "Well sir, it's always been my dream to—eek!" she exclaimed. He _so _did not just squeeze her knee.

"Is something wrong?" Hiashi raised an eyebrow.

"No, sir. Everything is fine," she lied. Pervy Hyuuga Fancier's hands were travelling north now that he had a little sake in the system. She took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Neji glared daggers at her assailant, and he desisted immediately, to her relief.

Five courses and seven bottles of sake later (Neji hadn't drunk any, unfortunately; it would've been amusing to see an intoxicated Neji), Hiashi cleared his throat. "I have an announcement to make. As you all know, we were brought here today—"

"I like the holsters you're wearing," the Pervy Hyuuga Fancier announced next to her. His voice carried to the far reaches of the room. "Are they made of lace?"

"THAT'S IT!" exclaimed Tenten.

Lightning fast, she nailed him to the wall, eight shuriken outlining his body with perfect precision. "Keep your hands to yourself!" She turned back around in time to see most of the males in the room dispelling their Byakugan hastily. She knelt back onto her cushion, smoothing the skirt of her kimono with nervous hands. Neji, she had noticed, didn't peek. Neither did Hiashi. In fact, he looked rather pleased. It was as if she had passed some sort of test.

"You have a lot of spirit, girl."

Tenten blushed, poking her index fingers together. "Thank you, sir." From the corner of her eye, she saw Neji smirking.

"As I was saying, we're all gathered here to congratulate Neji on his engagement," Hiashi revealed, nodding at Neji. Neji returned the nod.

Tenten blinked. "Neji's getting _married_? To who?" Whoa. This was like—the twilight zone. She thought for sure she would be married before Neji!

The guests stared at her. "Uh, Tenten-san," Hinata whispered. "I think Neji-niisan and _you_ are getting married."

". . . WHAT?" she scrambled to her feet again. "When did this happen!"

". . ." Neji apparently picked up his speech habits from his family.

"He hasn't even KISSED ME YET!" she wailed. Neji's eye twitched. Oh shit. "Listen," she pleaded, looking straight at Hiashi, "I just came here for dinner. I wasn't expecting. . ." her hands started waving around in frantic little motions, "this!"

She plopped back into her seat, very aware of the silence. Then Hiashi's face cracked into a grin.

"I like you," he laughed. "Why don't you stay the night?"

Jaw, meet floor. Floor, meet jaw. "WHAT!" she nearly yelled. She was surprised to realize that she wasn't the only one that had said that.

"Father, you cannot be serious! You're letting that _weakling _stay with us? Here?" She was _so _not letting the Demon Child call her a weakling, Hyuuga or no. With a quick gesture, she whipped a kunai in the girl's direction, snapping the wires that held her hair in its elaborate arrangement. Everyone's eyes widened; they hadn't even seen that coming.

"No one," Tenten said, sounding cross, "calls me a weakling." She had been hanging around Neji too much; she was even beginning to _speak _like him.

"How DARE you!" the brat screamed. "Father, did you see what she did?"

Inexplicably, the Hyuuga patriarch started _laughing. _Everyone stared at him. "You deserved that, Hanabi." His expression turned thoughtful. "But I'll give you a chance to avenge yourself. You can fight her tomorrow," he offered.

Tenten nearly freaked. _What _had she gotten herself into? Catching Hanabi by surprise was one thing, but in fair combat, she'd get _creamed! _Hanabi was a _Hyuuga! _She was probably almost as good as Neji by now.

"Dismissed." Everyone stood up, bowed and began to file out of the room.

"It's okay, Tenten-san," whispered Hinata as they watched people leave. The younger girl put a reassuring hand over hers. "Hanabi won't hurt you." She glanced at her younger sister. "Well, not much."

Tenten groaned. She could kill herself now, she thought, her hands clenching around another kunai. Her mother would be upset at her for ruining her new kimono. Then again, she'd be dead, so why did she care?

Just as she was steeling herself, she felt a familiar grip on her wrist. "I wouldn't think of it," Neji whispered in her ear. "After all, you still have to beat Hanabi-sama." He released her, and she had to refrain from rubbing her arm. "Get Hinata-sama to show you the inner court later; we'll train there."

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. "We already trained this morning."

"We weren't done."

"I'm _not _training with you Neji. Besides," and she turned towards Hinata, who was watching them with frightened eyes, "it'd be improper for you to be alone with me. Right, Hinata-san?"

"Um. . ." the girl's pale eyes looked like moons, they were so large. "I suppose."

If looks could kill, Hinata would have been dead _yesterday_. The Hyuuga heir squeaked and left them alone. "Fine." His voice made her shiver. "I'll show you to your rooms."

The silence between them was almost oppressive as he led her through the maze of halls. She felt awful. Then again, how was _she _supposed to know that this was their engagement dinner? Right, she thought sarcastically; only _I _affect him this way.

"Hinata-sama's rooms are in the same hall. Her door is just there." He nodded towards the left. "Hanabi-sama's are on the right."

Shit, he was really mad. It was probably her fault too. "Don't be mad about tonight, Neji; I'm just tired."

". . .I'm not mad."

"You are! You're sulkin—" she took a deep breath. It was too late for this. "Look, we'll talk about it in the morning, okay?" She gave him her best smile; it was her very last resort.

Shit. He was still mad. "Good night, Neji." She opened the door, taking great care not to look at him.

She felt something brush her cheek, feather light. She froze; did he just _kiss _her? "You looked nice tonight," he breathed in her ear.

"Thank you," she finally managed to choke out. "You looked nice as well."

". . .Good night," he said, and left.

She slid the door shut behind her, and leaned against it, staring at nothing. Maybe she _was _the only one that had that effect on him.


	4. The InLaws from Hell

_Notes_: **Cowritten with CCS AnGeL00**. Yes, I realize my profile says that it's finished but I haven't posted the complete fic up for any number of reasons, mostly that I'm still editing later chapters and I'm rather busy this month. Shorter and a slightly more serious chapter this time around, but next chapter makes up for it, when I get around to posting it, which will be tomorrow or the day after, most likely.

Part Four: The In-Laws from Hell

Tenten had to admit that the inner court looked lovely in the pre-dawn twilight, but it wasn't pretty enough to warrant getting up as early as she had. One of the maids had shaken her awake, telling her that Neji-sama wished to see her in the inner court. Bloody hell; did that rooster just give her a dirty look? Much to her surprise, Hinata and Hanabi were already there, sparring by the time she arrived.

"Tenten-san! You're awake!" Hinata exclaimed, signalling a pause from her sister.

"Unfortunately," yawned the older girl. She had spent most of the night tossing; she couldn't figure out whether or not she had imagined Neji's kiss. She probably had. Probably. But then, he _did _compliment her. That was what? Twice in a week? That had to be a record. Oh hell, it was too early for this. "What are you two doing up at this unholy hour?"

"This is _early_ for you? How pathetic," scoffed Hanabi.

Tenten narrowed her eyes. It was really _way _too early to be starting this. "Normal people rise after the sun," she replied pointedly.

"You mean the _weak _do," corrected the girl. Then again, this _was_ Hanabi.

"I wouldn't count on that, Demon Child."

"Going to back out, huh? I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to fight myself either if I were as weak as you."

"Hanabi!" chided Hinata.

Tenten closed her eyes and counted to ten. Twice. _itstooearlytokillitstooearlytokillitstooearlytokill, _she chanted silently.

"What's the matter?" Hanabi grinned. "Scared I'll beat you sens—"

"THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GOING DOWN, BRAT!" Tenten whipped out her scrolls and was about to bite her thumb when Neji caught her wrist.

"Never show your trump card to the enemy unless you have to," Neji said, his eyes turning glacial. Hanabi flicked her hair with an annoyed gesture, and returned her attention to Hinata. Muttering under her breath, Tenten shoved her scrolls back into their hiding place; she'd _really _show the brat later today. She winced when she heard the rooster crow. Wait, it was still dark.

"Isn't it too early for the rooster to be crowing?" she grumbled."

"Our roosters are trained to wake us an hour before other roosters," explained Neji as if it were normal. Right. Normal. Nothing in this house was normal.

"Oh." She stifled a yawn. The crowing was giving her a headache. She really wanted to shoot it dead with a few shuriken or something. Then again, it'd probably just leap back to its feet and peck her to death. Damned mutated roosters. She really wanted to go back to sleep. Maybe if she just put her head down just so, he wouldn't notice. . .

". . .Tenten, are you sleeping?"

Then again, this was Neji she was talking about. "No," she grumbled, irritated that her nap had been cut short.

"Following tradition, you will be moving into the main compound as soon as possible. I'll send some servants to help you pack."

_That _certainly woke her up. "WHAT!" she yelled loud enough to make Hinata and Hanabi pause. "Neji, I am _not _moving in here!"

He folded his arms. Shit, he was going into 'I-am-so-emotionless-and-stubborn-because-I-am-cooler-than-Uchiha-Sasuke' mode now. "It's tradition for Hyuuga fiancées to live at the main compound the month before the marriage.

"A _month?_" What the hell? So soon?

"Well, usually. Since we're getting married next week it'd be best if yo—"

That was it. She had had _enough! _"I never agreed to marry you!" she exclaimed.

"What's the problem?" he asked, looking puzzled. "I like you. We're getting married."

". . ." Okay, at least he admitted to having some sort of _feeling _for her; that was an improvement. Still. "You haven't even ASKED ME YET!"

He quirked an eyebrow at her, clearly not comprehending. "Does that even matter?"

She leapt to her feet just so she could stare down and yell at him. Actually, she wasn't going to yell; she was going to scream at him like a harpy on a bad hair day. "I put up with your hellish training _every day! _I put up with not getting chocolates or flowers." she was reaching notes she never knew she had before. And she was still warming up. "I BARELY complained about you not expressing _any _sort of affection or emotion for me!"

He stood up; he probably hated being stared down at. "I offered t—"

"THAT WAS NOT AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE, HYUUGA NEJI!" Tenten wondered how he was putting up with her screeching without flinching; Hinata and Hanabi had already put their hands on their ears. "But I will NOT marry you without A PROPOSAL!"

He sighed as if this were a very tiresome thing. She was _this _close to sticking a couple of kunai in his throat. But after she cut off hi—

"Fine. Will you?"

"NO!"

"AND! DON'T! YOU! '. . .'! AT! ME! HYUUGA! NEJI!" she screamed, poking him in the chest at every syllable.

He caught her finger before it could gouge his heart out. "Tenten, this is pointless. I suggest you start packing as soon as possible."

"ARGH!" Even Neji looked taken aback by her scream of frustration. He took two steps back. "YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?"

"Tenten, control yourself. This isn't like you."

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. Twice. "Hyuuga Neji," she said, her words as sharp as the kunai she was now clutching, "you do NOT rule my life."

His eyes narrowed. Neji did not like being yelled at. Well too bad. She was going to go live in the mountains. Screw Konoha. It could become the next desert for all she cared. "I don't see why you're making such a fuss about this. I did train you after all."

". . ." she felt something inside of her just _snap. _She saw red. Grabbing every piece of weaponry she could with her hands, she threw it all at him before launching at him with her bare hands, screaming like a banshee in heat. She was going to castrate him before anything else and then she was going to rip his heart out an—

"Tenten-san, calm down!" Hinata said in her left ear. Tenten became aware that the Hyuuga heir was clinging onto her shoulder and arm for dear life. "Save your energy for your fight later."

"Yeah," smirked Hanabi on her right, who was holding her by the waist. "After all, you'll need all of your energy to keep up with me."

"Tenten, I really do think you're overreacting," said Neji stiffly.

". . ." she really couldn't take this anymore. She just COULDN'T. She felt Hinata and Hanabi tighten their grip. She took a deep breath. "I," she said, enunciating each word as precisely as she could, "am going to go back to bed. You," she extricated herself from the sisters' grasp, "can go to hell."

She spun on her heel and left.

-

"I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry," she muttered until she slammed the door shut to her room. Shit, she was pissed. She was so pissed that she was going to _cry. _She never cried. Tears were for the weak. Shit, did she just think that? She was becoming Neji. She really _was _going to cry. She threw herself onto the futon, and bit her lip very hard. She had to stop before she made herself bleed; the very last thing she needed to see or smell at the moment was blood.

"Anou. . ." Hinata slid the door open, "Tenten-san? May I come in?"

"Sure," replied Tenten, letting her hair down from its buns. She ran her fingers through her hair and winced when she found a particularly nasty knot.

"Here, let me," said Hinata, rummaging through a drawer and coming out with a comb. Tenten sighed. "He really doesn't mean it, you know." Hinata's voice was very quiet as the younger girl ran the comb through her hair.

"Yes he does," Hanabi said tartly from the door. She was leaning against it, her arms crossed at her chest. Tenten groaned; she really couldn't deal with the Demon Child right now.

"Go AWAY, Demon Child," she muttered.

"No. And since you seem to despise me so much, I'm going to stay," smirked the girl before she shut the door behind her.

In the distance, Tenten could hear a rooster crow. She blinked, distracted. "Was that. . .?"

"It crows twice," explained Hanabi, who was now sitting in front of her. The Demon Child reached over to grab a piece of her hair. "Wow, you have a lot of hair," the girl marvelled as she pulled on it. Hard.

"H-Hanabi," chided Hinata.

"H-Hanabi," mimicked the younger sister. "I really don't know why I should listen to you; they're going to kick you out and make me the heir anyway." She grinned at Tenten. "And since you're marrying into the _branch _house, that means you have to listen to _me!"_

"In hell, Demon Child, in hell."

Hanabi pouted. "Since when did you get so mean?"

Tenten gave her a look that spoke volumes. "Since I met your cousin."

Hinata and Hanabi nodded in unison. This they could understand. "Yeah, sorry about that. Even I wouldn't wish him on you," Hanabi said. The little girl then peered closely at Tenten's forehead. "I think you have a zit."

"Hanabi," Tenten said from between gritted teeth as Hinata stiffened behind her, "if you do not get out of this room in the next three seconds, I am going to KILL YOU!"

"Psh," the girl scoffed. "You're weak. I can break you."

"HANABI! Apologize!" Tenten blinked; was that Hinata? Since when did she sound so stern?

"Sorry," the Demon Child said, sounding curt. Then she looked up through her lashes in the cutest manner she could possibly contrive. "Besides, would you hit someone six years younger than you?"

"Yes," answered Tenten without hesitation.

"You're mean. You're not even pretty enough to be a bitch; you're just mean."

Tenten closed her eyes. "Should you be using such vulgar language at such a tender age?"

"What are you going to do?" The youngest Hyuuga child got up and skipped to the door. "Beat me?" She left before Tenten could even open her mouth.

Hinata sighed. "S-Sorry about Hanabi. I should really be more firm with her." The girl was now braiding Tenten's hair.

"It's fine. It's Hanabi; I don't think anyone _can _control her," reassured Tenten. "The most you can do is hire an exorcist since she's a demon spawn. Like Neji," she added darkly.

Hinata's mouth twitched. "A-A-About that. I'm r-really sorry."

"It has nothing to do with you. Don't worry about it," sighed Tenten. Hinata really had to stop apologizing for everything. Before she knew it, she'd be apologizing for the apocalypse before it happened.

"I meant your engagement."

Oh. That. "Yeah. Thanks." Tenten sighed. "Is there any way I can get out of this, Hinata-san?"

The younger girl thought for a moment, tying off the end of the braid as she did. "M-Maybe. . ."

Tenten brightened. "Go on," urged Tenten. "I'm listening. . ."


	5. Mutant Roosters are Normal by Comparison

_Notes: _**Cowritten with CCS AnGeL00**. This chapter. . .speaks for itself. XDXDXD The next couple of chapters won't be up for a while since I'll be away on vacation, so enjoy what you can.

Part Five: Mutant Roosters are Normal by Comparison

Tenten snorted as the Evil Genetically Enhanced Steroid Ridden Roosters of Doom crowed. So apparently, it liked to remind people that it was sunset. Right. She took a deep breath, wincing at the number of people present. If this plan that she and Hinata had concocted wouldn't get her out of this insane engagement, she'd call it quits.

"We are here," announced Hiashi, "to witness the fight between my youngest daughter and nephew's fiancée."

The plan had _so _better work.

"The battle will consist of three matches. Each match will have a different set of conditions. These conditions will be revealed at the beginning of each match, as to test the contestants' mental capabilities, as well as physical." Hiashi glanced around the dojo. "Anyone have any objections?"

Here it was, the moment of truth. Tenten raised her hand. Hiashi nodded his head in her direction.

"This isn't so much of a question. . ." her voice trailed off, and she cleared her throat. "I resign." The words echoed around the shocked dojo. This, she realized, could work.

"No she doesn't." Then again. . .maybe not. Neji could be rather scary when he wanted. She almost caved until she realized that she'd have to _marry _him if she did.

"I resign," she repeated, this time with more force.

"No you don't, argued Neji. He was now standing in front of her, looking annoyed.

"Amazing," Hiashi observed. "They even fight like a married couple."

Oh God. His uncle just _so _did not say that.

Neji smirked. She glared at him, and he met her with a glare of his own, his nose almost touching hers. She felt a chill run down her spine.

"I _said _I resign!" she retorted.

"And _I_ said, no you are _not_ resigning."

Tenten held his gaze with an unwavering will. She _would _get out of this engagement, no matter what. "Neji, we are not married. You cannot tell me what to do!"

"Not yet."

She puffed up like the mutant rooster. "Hyuuga Neji, don't think that just because you're stronger than me, you can just boss me around. I won't put up with it!" she snapped, turning to Hiashi. "I can't fight with Hanabi. It would be impossible for me to win against someone from the Main House of the Hyuuga Clan. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Hiashi smiled. Oh _damn_. He was going to kill her because she rejected his nephew. "You're smart, girl. You know you're strengths and weaknesses. I like you."

Tenten nearly fell over. "Eh? B-b-but!" she stuttered.

"Neji," he faced his nephew. "You have chosen wisely. I will allow this marriage to go ahead as planned."

Tenten flailed her arms. "But I'm only marrying Neji for his money," she warned him. "Do you really want a weak, money grubbing, gold digging hussy to taint the pure Hyuuga blood?"

Hanabi pouted. "No. But I was really looking forward to kicking your a—" Hinata cleared her throat loudly, trying to drown out the sound of her sister's voice. Hanabi stuck her tongue out at her in response.

Hiashi nodded and for a moment, Tenten thought she was off the hook. "You're a very honest young woman. That'll be an important trait to pass to the children."

"CHILDREN?" Tenten echoed. "As in kids!"

Neji snorted. "Of course that's what he means, Tenten."

Hiashi looked between the two of them. "You'll have strong offspring," he said confidently.

Tenten stared at the Hyuuga patriarch. This was insane.

"Yes, we'll have cute babies," Neji agreed. Okay. Now _that_ was insane. Did Neji just say the word _cute_? Oh God, this was all too much for her brain to handle. She was going to _marry_ Hyuuga Neji. She was going to _have cute little babies_ with Hyuuga Neji. She was going to be with Hyuuga Neji _FOREVER_.

Hinata was apparently thinking the same thing, because her eyes looked like they would pop out of her skull. "Father, does Tenten-san actually want to marry Neji-niisan?" she asks timidly.

"Of course she does." Hiashi looked at his daughter like she had a bright neon sign that said "MORON" over her head with an arrow pointing down. "What girl wouldn't want to marry Neji? He's one of the strongest fighters of his age!"

Tenten, Hanabi, and even Hinata looked over at the man like HE was the one ready for the nuthouse. "I. . ." Tenten closed her eyes. She gave up. She really did. "I guess I can't argue with logic like that."

Hiashi grinned. It was scary. "It's settled; the marriage will take place. Dismissed."

"I bet you were just too scared to fight me," a familiar voice said beside her.

"Go _away _Demon Child," groaned Tenten. "I really can't deal with you right now."

Hanabi rolled her eyes at Tenten. "Don't be such a prude about the babies thing," she says waving her little hand. "Neji-niisan already knows what you look like undressed; he peeks through the walls of your room every night."

Tenten choked. "Demon child. . ." she started. Then she paused. He did have the power to—noooo, Neji wasn't like that. . . was he? "Uh? Neji?"

"Let's go train," he replied, turning. He was probably smirking. Bastard. She should set that mutant rooster on him. "We might as well use this time to practice."

He was avoiding the question. "Ne-jiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. . ." She looked rather pained.

"Yes?" he asked, not turning around to her.

"Is there—" she looked at Hanabi, who was eagerly leaning forward, and lowered her voice. "Is there any truth in that?"

Neji sneered. "What an asinine question."

She let out a silent gasp. "You DO, don't you!" she accused.

Of course he didn't. But he couldn't just _say_ it with his uncle standing right there, looking oh so very proud of his manly nephew. Plus, it made him seem cooler than Uchiha Sasuke!

Tenten sighed following her fiancée. She was doomed to a life with Hyuuga Neji.

"Tenten, are you coming to train or not?" queried Neji, looking at her from the door.

"Welcome to Hell, Tenten," she muttered as she hurried to catch up. "It's going to be a bumpy ride."

-

Tenten left the Hyuuga compound, looking as if someone had killed her cat. Her face was ghost white and her eyes looked as if they belonged to the dead. She'd really like to go home, she thought. Then again, a chocolate chocolate chip sundae with chocolate syrup and whipped cream sounded good too. Yes, comfort food.

"Congratulations, future Mrs. Hyuuga!" the kimono seamstress called to her as she trudged towards the dessert shop. "Come to me when you need your wedding kimono! We already have the perfect design!"

Tenten ignored the woman. As rude as that was, she thought it would be ruder if she told the woman to piss off. Various village occupants congratulated her, from the baker, to the weapons maker, to everyone in between. Maybe she should just go home.

"Konohamaru-chan!" Tenten watched as Moegi strove to catch Sandaime's grandon's attention. "Let's play Neji-san and Tenten-san and get married!"

". . ." Tenten decided to ignore the child. After all, she didn't want to be responsible for sweeping her bloody remains off the street.

"It was only a few bones short, Akamaru," argued Kiba in front of the pet store. "Can't you let it be?"

"Ruff," the dog replied.

"Look, just because you were right about Tenten and Neji getting engaged before the week was over does _not _mean that you're right about them getting married next week."

"My bugs say the ceremony will take place in three days." Shino's voice floated from the confines of the dark shop.

"Ruff," said Akamaru.

"You're on," answered Kiba, shaking the dog's paw.

"How does everyone know?" she exclaimed, grabbing her head as if she had a major headache. Tears burned behind her eyelids as she fought to hold them back.

"I heard about the wonderful news," a smug voice said. There was Shikamaru in all of his lazy glory, sitting on the steps to his house, his hands laced behind his head. "I told you there would be a proposal. I saw this a million moves before."

Tenten cursed Shikamaru's intelligence. "Screw you. By the way, what are you doing? I can't believe you're off from work _again_. Some chuunin you are."

"Hanging around Neji has made you mean. You used to be nice," he pointed out, stretching lazily. "I'm waiting for someone."

In a fit of rage, Tenten flung a few weapons at the newly fixed fence, making it collapse on itself. "Heh. Go catch your deer, you bastard."

Shikamaru made an annoyed sound and Tenten suddenly realized that the pen was empty. "They're inside today. Pops felt like it was too much of a hassle to keep them outside when Neji was PMSing. Maybe it was you we should have been worried about." He sighed, shaking his head. "Breaking my fence. . . geez, you're getting to be just like him."

Tenten gasped. Shikamaru was _right._ "OH MY GOD I _AM_ NEJI!" she shrieked, making Shikamaru wince. Next door, Ino poked her head out of the flower shop to see what the commotion was about. "Shikamaru-kun, I'll help fix the fence, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me!"

He rolled his eyes up to the clouds. He wanted to be a cloud. He could drift all day, not do a thing, and forget about the existence of 'women.' "Forget it. I'll let my old man deal with the fence. Way too troublesome."

Ino approached her, still wearing her apron and holding a bunch of roses. "Hey, Tenten-san! We heard that you're getting married. My family was hired to do the flower arrangements! Isn't that great?" She twirled, holding the flowers close to her and sighing. Shikamaru snorted. "I can't wait for my own wedding! I'll be Mrs. Uchiha Sasuke!" The girl paused to make a face. "My father wanted to arrange a marriage between Shikamaru and I but I was like 'Eew, Daddy! That's so wrong! Shikamaru's like my brother.' How gross is that?"

Tenten blinked. "Uh. . . very. I didn't think Shikamaru-kun was the marrying type, actually."

He rolled his eyes again. He obviously agreed with Ino. "I'm not. Marriage is too troublesome. Women, in general, are too troublesome," he revealed.

"Come on now, Shikamaru," a new voice said in a coy manner. "Some of us girls are worth the trouble, aren't we?" Tenten gaped at the new comer. It was. . . Temari of the sand village! Was she the person Shikamaru was waiting for?

"What are YOU doing here!" Tenten demanded. Oooh, it was the bleached blond bimbo of the sand or whatever! Great, this just made her mood that much better. This was all too much for her. She slid down next to the fence she destroyed and started to cry. She put her hands over her face and let herself sob away all the frustrations she faced over the past week.

"Gai-sensei, look! It's Tenten!" Lee sparkled, blinding everyone in the vicinity. "And she's crying tears of joy!"

Naruto blinked as he walked towards the group from the ramen stand. "She doesn't look very happy to me."

"It's probably just pre-wedding jitters," observed Gai. "Don't worry Tenten! You may shake now like a flower in the harsh wind, but the sun will come out again soon! You will thrive on adversity!"

". . .I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Tenten wailed, whipping out her arsenal. It felt so good to just pelt people with sharp pointy things. Wow. She really had become Neji.

She was shocked out of her frenzy by a sharp slap to her face. Tenten blinked up at Temari. "Snap out of it. You're hysterical."

Tenten stood up and without a second thought, launched herself at the blond. "EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, BITCH! YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T FORCE YOU TO TRAIN WITH MUTATED ROOSTERS!"

Shikamaru stood up and moved to sit closer to his door, away from the two women. This was going to be very bloody. And that was if Temari was feeling generous.

Temari smirked and managed to roll over and pin the younger girl beneath her. "That's because _I_ have him whipped."

Naruto cocked his head in confusion. "Why is Temari here?" he asked Gai, Lee, and Ino. They shrugged. They had no idea what was going on either. "And Gai-sensei, aren't you going to stop them?" queried Naruto, watching Tenten throw a punch at Temari. Temari yanked Tenten's hair out of its buns in reply.

Gai shook his head. "Delicate flowers need their space to grow and reach for the sunlight."

"What?" Ino asked, confused. Naruto just shrugged; he didn't get it either.

A dark shadow loomed over them as the sounds of rapid scribbling were heard over the grunts and screams of the girls duking it out. "Yes, yes, girls. That's the way. Now Tenten-chan, just rip a little bit of Temari's shirt. . . oooh yeah. . ."

The girls stood up immediately, glaring at the pervert. It was none other than Tenten's savior Jiraiya-sama! He dodged an attempted attack by Temari's fan and landed gracefully in front of Tenten. "Jiraiya-sama!" she wailed. "Take me away from here!"

Jiraiya gave the thumbs up. "We'll be alone together in the mountains! Just you, me and those lace holsters!"

Lee gasped. "SENSEI, JIRAIYA-SAMA JUST DEFILED THE NICE GUY POSE!"

Tenten back away slightly, still sobbing. On second thought. . . suicide was the better option.

"I wouldn't think of it," a voice said in her ear. Tenten jumped and spun around.

"Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing here?" yelled Naruto.

The masked shinobi smiled. "I came to ask Jiraiya-sama about his next novel. He promised me an advanced copy."

It was too much for Tenten to take. She began to weep again, too tired to actually bawl anymore.

"There, there," Kakashi soothed, patting the girl on the shoulder. "It's only pre-wedding jitters. Besides," he handed her a tissue, "you have to look pretty so you can pose for Jiraiya-sama's next novel. Right, Jiraiya-sama?"

But Jiraiya's attention was riveted almost entirely on the sand girl. Grrrrowl. She was quite a looker. "Temari-chan, your. . . face is so lovely, it should grace the cover of my next book. I was thinking a beach motif. Picture this: you, on the beach, wearing nothing but sand." Shikamaru choked on a laugh from his safe place. That old man had no idea who he was messing with.

"PICTURE MY FAN UP YOUR ASS YOU PERVERT!" Temari launched a series of attacks at Jiraiya, as Ino tried to comfort the sobbing heap once known as Tenten.

"It's not that bad, right? Neji is cute and rich," she said firmly, as if it made up for his defective personality. "So he has a few. . . anger management problems. Those are easily fixed!"

Sakura approached the group, confused as to why Shikamaru's fence was broken, why Temari was in the village and chasing Jiraiya with her fan, why Tenten was sobbing—what had she missed? She had only gone grocery shopping and look what happened! Could these people not function without her? "Hi everyone!" Perky Haruno Sakura, yes, that was her!

Much to Sakura's surprise, Lee grabbed Ino's hands. "You are right, Ino-san! Neji is a good guy! Much like you—except you're a girl. A wonderfully beautiful angel of a girl!"

Sakura's jaw dropped. "What!" Had everyone gone insane! This was the part when Lee was supposed to sparkle over HER, not INO!

Recoiling a little, Ino still managed a smirk. "It's obvious Lee wanted an upgrade from you, Sakura."

Shikamaru yawned from his spot, trying to ignore all the screaming and crying.

"Shikamaru!" Temari snapped. "Aren't you going to threaten him a little?"

He gave her a lazy smile. "But, Temari. You're mad enough for the both of us. I have confidence you can handle this."

Naruto looked back and forth between Temari and Shikamaru. It hit him like a ton of bricks. "SHIKAMARU AND TEMARI ARE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND?" As usual, Naruto was the master of the obvious. "Hehe," he giggled, jumping to stand next to Shikamaru. "I didn't know you liked older girls."

"Me neither," he put his pinky finger in his ear. He really hoped his hearing came out of this intact. "I didn't really have a choice. Temari just decided one day; it was too troublesome to argue with her."

Tenten crawled. She really wanted to get away from it all. Go home, have a long soak in the bath and sleep for the rest of the day. No one would notice she was missing; after all, Sakura and Ino were indulging in replay of her catfight with Temari while Lee shamelessly bragged to Gai about being the cause of it. Temari was alternating between shrieking at the dozing Shikamaru and whacking Jiraiya-sama with the fan, and Kakashi was reading that perverted novel. God. Her head really hurt. All Tenten wanted to do was go home to her nice, warm bed an—

She stopped in her tracks. Was this her room? Had she gotten lost? But her mother was in the kitchen downstairs! She looked around the space frantically, seeing that all of things were _gone_. Tenten ripped open drawers to find them empty. Her closet was bare. Her bed was stripped and all of her posters were torn off the walls. Her weapons were missing. SOMEONE HAD TO AUDACTIY TO SNATCH HER PRECIOUS TEDDY BEAR! "MOM!" she wailed, running into the kitchen. "WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!"

Her mom blinked at her. "Tenten, what happened to your hair! And your shirt is ripped and—have you been crying?"

Tenten wiped her face. "You'd cry to if you had to marry Neji," she explained. "But Mom! My room. Why is it EMPTY?"

Her mother smiled. The poor dear; she was obviously overcome with pre-wedding jitters. "Nothing was stolen, dear. Just. . . relocated."

"Come again?"

"That handsome Neji-kun came over and told me all about your engagement! He and a few of his servants gathered your things to take over to his house. You'll be living there from now on," her mother said cheerily. "Isn't that wonderful?"

". . ." Her world was crumbling before her very eyes. She wasn't even seeing red anymore; it was all _black._

"Honey, are you okay? You look a little pale."

Tenten fainted.


	6. Neji's Rival

_Notes: _Cowritten with **CCS AnGeL00. **I was away. Now I've returned. And now I'm going to drown in work, so don't expect updates anytime soon. Really now, begging is so undignified, doncha think? XD

Part Six: Neji's Rival

She woke up surrounded by unfamiliar scents of pinewood and scented cotton. Where was she? And why did this room seem so familiar?

"You're awake." Tenten groaned and suppressed the urge to bury herself under the covers. She did _not _want to wake up to Neji's voice.

"Where am I?" queried she, sitting up, holding her head. Goddamn, it _hurt._

"The main compound," he replied. He was leaning against the door with his arms crossed at his chest, watching her. "I brought you here when you fainted."

Right. She remembered now. "Where are my things?"

"Gone."

". . ." Tenten brought her head up to stare at her fiancée. Not even Neji would be that insane. . .right? "My sweaters?"

"Gone."

Then again, this _was _Neji. "My shoes?"

"Gone."

Okay, Tenten, calm down, she told herself. "My t-shirts?"

"Gone."

"My cute hair things?"

"Gone."

Oh shit. Her voice started to spiral upwards, in spite of her efforts to control it. "My _teddy bear?_"

"Gone."

She put her head down between her knees trying very hard to breathe. "Okay, calm down Tenten, this is a nightmare and in three seconds you will wake up screaming. Or it's all a really sick joke. Breathe Tenten, breathe."

"Your things weren't suitable for a Hyuuga bride," he informed.

". . ." she brought her head up to stare at him.

"A joke?" she offered weakly. "Please say it's a joke."

He shook his head.

Her eyes rolled up in her head as she succumbed to the inevitable, lovely darkness of a faint for the second time.

-

_It's so nice and dark here, _thought Tenten. _I could stay here forever._

"Tenten, wake up."

_Who's that calling me?_

"Tenten. . ."

_It sounds like Neji. . ._

"Tenten, if you don't wake up, we're going to train twice a day."

Her eyes fluttered open. She was back in the futon with Neji staring down at her. She would have called his expression "concerned" except she didn't think Neji _had _expressions. "What happened?"

"You fainted."

Memory came rushing back and she sat up abruptly, making him move before her head could smash into his. "YOU THREW OUT KUN-CHAN?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Kun. . .chan?"

"My teddy bear," she snapped. "It's short for Kunai."

"A Hyuuga does not need such juvenile things," Neji told her. He held his arms up just in time to fend off her attack. "Calm down Tenten."

"GET OUT!" she screeched, baring her nails. Dammit, where were her weapons? "AND DON'T COME BACK UNLESS YOU HAVE KUN-CHAN!"

He caught her wrists just as she was going to slash his face. "It's just a stuffed toy. Besides, I'm sure Hanabi-sama has ripped it to shreds by now."

". . .You gave my teddy bear to HANABI?"

His expression never wavered. "She said it'd help her train."

Her legs scissored into a neat kick, which he avoided without even looking. "AND YOU BELIEVED HER?"

". . .You look nice with your hair down," he told her.

She narrowed her eyes at the obvious ploy; if anything, the compliment made her even _angrier_. "That's not going to save you, Neji. Now GET OUT!"

He disappeared in a puff of smoke. She plopped back onto her bed and burst into silent, angry tears. Several minutes later, she wiped her eyes, vowing revenge for Kun-chan.

She finished just as Neji knocked on the door. "Tenten?"

"What?"

"May I come in?"

"No." She made sure that she looked like she was still sulking. She was lying down, her hair in a disorganized mess around the pillow while the blankets lay in a half-tangled mess.

He started to sound impatient. "Tenten, there's no need to be childish."

"You should be one to talk," she retorted.

He sighed. "Tenten, I'm coming in," he warned, sliding the door open. Tenten watched, her face dropping as he evaded the ten shuriken, managed to successfully avoid tripping the wire that would've plunged her daggers in his heart, and came _thisclose_ but not quite to getting a new hole in his throat by a dozen successive kunai, the last of which he caught with two fingers. "Tenten, these traps are pathetic," he told her, whipping the weapon at her. She was so stunned she barely managed to catch it. "It's clear you haven't been training enough."

Tenten closed her eyes and counted to ten. Twice. "Neji, what are you doing here?"

He knelt on the floor, eyeing the air suspiciously. Then, before she could protest, he tripped the invisible wire with a finger, rolling out of the way before the senbon could pierce his lungs. "Here," he said, tossing something that he had been hiding behind his back.

She caught it without thinking. She stared at it, blinking for three seconds. "KUN-CHAN!" she shrieked, hugging her beloved toy to her chest. Then, "I thought you gave him to Hanabi."

"Hinata-sama took it from her," he answered, methodically activating the last trap. He arched his back just enough so that the miniature canon ball zoomed out of the open window. "She asked me to give it back to you."

Thank GOD for Hinata. She was probably the only Hyuuga with a modicum of sense. "Well. . .thank you."

"You're welcome." He paused, and she blinked at him, wondering what was next. "I'll meet you in the dojo after dinner," he finally said.

Tenten sighed, brushing a couple of wayward strands of her face. "I'll be there."

"By the way," he said, deliberately not looking at her, "you do look nice with your hair down."

". . .Thank you," she said, but he had already shut the door.


	7. The Eye of the Storm

_Notes: _**Cowritten with CCS AnGeL00**. This chapter is only _slightly _more sane than chapter 5. Slightly.

Please note that saying, "update or else" is just going to make me take even _longer _to update.

Part Seven: The Eye of the Storm (is always most deceptive)

At the Academy, they teach you that the safest place to hide was to find the very last location your enemy would think to look in.

Neji would never find her on the roof. _Never._

It was also a lovely night to do some stargazing, thought Tenten. It was a moonless evening, so the chances of her getting spotted up here were slim to nothing. She was _not _going to do anymore training. No more. If she thought training with Neji in the forest had been tough, it was _nothing _compared to training with him while at he at home. For one thing, random family members did _not _just 'drop in' while they were battling in the trees. And Demon Children did not randomly throw weapons at her while she was sparring with her fiancée. It just didn't work like that.

Cautiously, she sat up and stretched, wincing as she heard her joints pop. Maybe it was time to go to bed, she thought as she rose slowly to her feet. Surely even Neji was asleep at this time.

"NO TENTEN! DON'T JUMP! DON'T WASTE YOUR YOUTH BECAUSE OF NEJI!"

She blinked. That sounded like Le—

Before she could finish the thought, she felt herself being barrelled off the roof.

_Why me? _She wailed even as she frantically tried to brace herself for the inevitable impact. _Why does this always happen to me?_

Shit. The ground was close. Oh, this was going to _hurt._

"Lee, you oaf, what did you think you were _doing_?" Neji asked as he set Tenten on her feet. She blinked, disoriented, and would've crumpled if he didn't catch her around the waist. Getting pushed off a roof was certainly not the way she would've chosen to end her day, she thought as she tried to regain use of her limbs.

Their teammate was watching with wide-eyed shock, his jaw moving in little convulsive motions. "Tenten, are you all right?" cried Lee, jumping off the roof to join them. He took her hand in his. "I'm so sorry! I thought you were trying to kill yourself!"

"Lee," sighed Tenten as she extricated herself from both grasps now that she had her limbs moving again, "if I were going to commit suicide, I certainly would not do so by jumping off a roof that is only thirty or forty feet above ground."

"But you could have done yourself serious injury!" declared Lee. "Shortened the springtime of your youth! Even postponed your marriage!"

"Lee, what are you doing here? I don't recall inviting you." Tenten winced; Neji was _mad._

Lee grinned and struck a pose. "I came to apply for the position of Neji's best man. I am, after all, the best person for the job."

Was Lee insane? After that stunt did he seriously think that Neji was going to accept him? Oh God, he did, thought Tenten as Lee segued from pose number nineteen to pose number fifty-three.

"Fine. Be here tomorrow morning," answered Neji. Tenten and Lee stared at him.

"Neji, are you feeling all right?" queried Tenten, swatting a fly off of her shoulder without thinking. Lee was busy checking Neji's temperature.

"The wedding's in three days. He was the first one to ask," pointed out Neji.

"WHAT?" she screeched. "THREE DAYS?"

"There's no need to repeat what I just said."

"But Neji, don't you think you should've given Tenten more notice?" asked Lee, taken aback. "After all, lovers should share everything, including the date of the wedding."

"I just did."

Tenten stared at Neji incredulously. She had no words. Just none.

"Awwww, we lost the bet Akamaru," a voice floated from the woods.

"Ruff," the dog answered.

"You both owe me a new aquarium."

"Aww, Shino, but you already have one!" whined Kiba.

"It's full," the taller boy answered.

Their voices dwindled. Tenten buried her face in her hands. _Why me? _"Did you not _think _that I would have appreciated a little more time, Neji? Even a month?"

"The preparations have been going on for weeks now," he informed her. "I thought it was obvious."

Obvious, says he. Right. "Did it ever occur to you that I might like to have been _asked?_" she gritted.

"I don't see the problem. The preparations are nearly complete."

Even Lee backed away from the expression on her face. "Neji, the marriage is _so_ not happening in three days. I need at LEAST a week's notice."

"For what?"

Just before Tenten was about to launch into another spectacular tirade, Lee grinned, dispelling most of her anger. "Neji, Tenten wants to bloom into a beautiful flower for your wedding day! Three days is not enough for her to prepare herself for what should be the happiest day of her life!"

_More like the most hellish, _she thought, but decided not to voice the thought.

"Marriage is built on trust and compromise!" declared their manic teammate. "You must learn to compromise with your fiancée or else there will be marital problems! Divorce! Think of your future children! The cute babies that would never have a chance to blossom under the loving care of two wonderful parents!"

_Children? _Fine, the Hyuuga family she could comprehend. Her own PARENTS she could almost forgive for turning on her. But her teammate?

"Divorce is not an option when you marry into the Hyuuga."

Oh shit. What was she getting herself into? "Fine. Then we won't marry," she said, crossing her arms across her chest.

Lee pouted. "But I won't be able to be best man and impress Ino-san!"

Tenten _so _did not want to know what was going on there.

"Tenten, you're being ridiculous. Of course we'll marry."

"Neji," she gritted through her teeth, "we had this conversation before. You are _not _going to tell me what to do."

"I'm not; I'm just telling you what is going to happen," he pointed out. "You said you wanted to be informed."

She wanted to cry, she really did. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Neji! You should apologize to Tenten!" proclaimed Lee, raising a fist. "You must protect the flame of your love before it gets extinguished!"

"Traitor," muttered Tenten. "You said you'd protect me from Neji."

Lee gasped. "But Tenten! I could not stand in the way of the power of your love! It bloomed like a flower in the sunlight! It just had to fertilized and nurtured with affection and care!"

"No one," said Neji, his voice sounding like steel, "is fertilizing Tenten."

Lee wagged a mischievous finger at his teammates. "Just wait until the wedding night," he said with a grin.

"Weddi—" sputtered Tenten. She stared at the two boys, unable to believe what was happening. Was Neji actually _smiling? _With _Lee?_ The natural course of nature was thrown out of its cycle. She was SO getting out of this marriage, even if it meant begging Tsunade-sama. Then again, that wasn't a bad idea. "I'm. . .going to bed," she whimpered.

"Tenten!" Lee peered at her face. "You don't look well! I should escort you back to your room!"

"I'll do it," interrupted Neji.

"I'll be fine," she protested at the same time.

"It'd be improper of me to leave you two alone before the wedding night. We wouldn't want anything untoward to happen so close!" Lee proclaimed, slipping into the good guy pose. His teeth went 'ping!' "I promise to see you to your wedding unstained, Tenten! That's my nindo!"

Tenten buried her face into her hands. Definitely see Tsunade-sama tomorrow. First thing.

-

Tenten shoved the jounin who were guarding the doors aside as she burst in on Tsunade, who looked like she was sleeping behind a stack of papers. Sake bottles littered the office. The Hokage DRANK while working? Well, that explained a few things.

"Tsunade-sama," she shook her idol awake. "Tsunade-sama, I need your help."

Tsunade groaned and held her head. "Oi, stop screaming."

"I wasn't screaming. Anyway, I need you to annul the engagement between Neji and I. I can't take it anymore," she half sobbed. "Please help me."

Tsunade belched and crossed her legs. "No can do, Tenten honey," she flicked some of her blond hair behind her ear, flashing Tenten with a diamond studded hoop earring that blinded the girl.

"Why not!"

Tsunade leaned forward, a large sapphire pendant glinting from in between her cleavage. "Don't you think this necklace brings out my eyes?"

". . . where did you get those?" Tenten asked suspiciously. Hokages weren't rich; she knew that. And Tsunade had debts to pay off until she died. So how did—"NEJI BRIBED YOU!"

Tsunade hiccupped and nearly fell over in her chair. "So what'd you come here for? Need some advice for the wedding night?"

"OH GOD NO!" Tenten felt her hopes and dreams crumbling. THIS was her idol? Drunk, bejewelled and with no shame? "I can't believe you did this! What kind of Hokage are you?"

Tsunade shrugged. "The Hyuuga also paid off my gambling debts." She took another swig of sake. "Now listen here, Tenten. It's not easy to handle a Hyuuga if you get what I mean."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW—OH MY GOD—DON'T TELL ME I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! OH MY GOD MY EARS!" she cried, holding her head. This was so not happening to her. _So _not happening.

Tsunade grinned, licking her lips. "And you got the prodigy Hyuuga. I bet he has stamina like—"

"I'm sorry I came here!" wailed Tenten. She was in severe pain. "Please stop! I'll do ANYTHING!"

"I have a book that might help you," Tsunade managed to toss her a small red book without hurting herself.

". . . 'Come Come Paradise'! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? I can't read this!" She dropped the book on the floor like it had bitten her. "Tsunade-sama, that's a dirty book!"

Tsunade snorted, taking another sip of sake. "And what do you think you'll be doing with Neji-kun on your wedding night? Playing shogi? You'll be doing what those people in that book are doing. . . well, that all depends on how flexible you are."

Tenten whimpered. "I'll leave, just please stop!"

"Those chakra strings of yours would make things very interesting," Tsunade said, looking thoughtful for a second. Then she leered.

"I'm gone, okay!" Tenten tried to escape, but Tsunade blocked her. Even drunk, she was the Hokage.

Tsunade pushed her back to her chair, getting out another book from the shelf. She turned to a page that had very vivid pictures. "Here. Look at this."

"But I don't WANT to look at it!"

Tsunade pointed to—oh God, she was going blind. "It's easy, Tenten. You just insert object A into slot B."

"And remember: if he wants to invite a third party, you can always say no. Especially if it's that Lee kid. But it would be good if it were Uchiha Sasuke, yes? Two prodigies would be a record of some sort, I'd think."

Tenten tried to regain the feeling in her legs. "Ino-san wouldn't like it if we did that to Lee anyway," she said before she could help herself. Her brain was going numb. It had to be.

"Mm. You have a good point there. Another thing to remember is that clothing is optional. Lacy undergarments are nice, but Neji-kun seems more like the 'get down to business right away' type of boy, doesn't he?"

"Why didn't I listen to Gai-sensei and run away?" wept Tenten.

"I have a catalogue of fun stuff too—"

Tenten slammed the door.

"Heh. Gets them every time," Tsunade said, patting herself on the back. She reached for another bottle of sake. Now Tenten was preoccupied with the wedding night rather than the fact that her Hokage had just turned down her request. Ahh, being an evil genius was so fun.

-

Tenten fingered Kun-chan's fur for a moment before reluctantly putting him back on her bed. It'd be best if she left without taking anything, she decided, except for her weapons. It pained her, but she knew it was for the best; if anything, she could be declared kidnapped. Maybe it'd even save Konoha.

The wedding was tomorrow morning. Her family had been no help. The Hokage had been no help. Lee broke his promise to her. All she could do now was help herself, and the only way she could see to get out of this was by running away.

She crept out of the house and walked down the streets. She was careful to exercise every bit of her training; she didn't want to get caught.

"Where are you going?"

Then again, not everyone had a stalker for a fiancée. "Errr, out?"

Neji raised an eyebrow. "It's two in the morning, Tenten."

"Pre-wedding jitters," she lied. "I went to go work them off."

"You're running away."

Shit. She was caught. But Tenten wouldn't give in without a fight. "I thought I'd run a couple of laps around the village."

"Then why are you heading towards the gate?"

Ah shit. She may as well give up. "Fine, whatever," she sighed. "I'm running away."

He crossed his arms across his chest, and she restrained the urge to roll her eyes. He was going into 'I-am-so-emotionless-and-stubborn-because-I-am-cooler-than-Uchiha-Sasuke' mode. "Why?"

She stared at him as if he were witless. "Because we're getting _married _tomorrow, and I don't WANT TO?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Tenten closed her eyes and steeled herself for the inevitable. "Look, Neji," she said, trying to find a way to say what she wanted to say. "It's just. . .look, why do you want to marry me?"

"Fate."

He was _so _making this up. "You've NEVER given _any _indication of any actual long-lasting emotion for me, and you expect me to believe that we should get married because of FATE?"

"I thought it was obvious."

He _would. _"Since when did you start believing in that again?" she asked incredulously. "Fate and destiny and all that, I mean."

His gaze shifted from her face. A first. "When it comes to you, I do." She blinked. That was almost. . .nice. She softened a little.

"It's just that this is all so sudden. It's just. . ." she sighed, fingering a wayward strand of hair absently. "It's just. . ."

"Just. . .?"

"I don't know!" She threw her hands up in the air. "Just that I'm scared! And I don't know if I want to do this! An—mmph!"

When his lips left hers, he whispered in her ear, "Sometimes, you have to fight your destiny, and sometimes, you have to learn to accept it."

". . ." she said intelligibly.

He smirked. "And don't '. . .' at me, Tenten."

That snapped her out of her reverie. "Look, Hyuuga Neji, just because you kissed me doesn't mean that I'm going to marr—oomph!"

Well, she thought after a dazed moment, he was certainly a good kisser. Then again, Neji was good at everything.

"Go home, Tenten," he told her, suddenly five feet away from her. His hair blew in the wind, sparkling a bit in the light of the moon. "We have a long day tomorrow." Before she could open her mouth to reply, he had disappeared.

Well, she thought, bringing her fingers up to touch her lips, she certainly better get going. It was going to be a long day.

-

- one more chapter to go! Let's see how much work I've this month, but more likely it'll be next month when I post.


	8. TEH END

_Notes: _This chapter…speaks entirely for itself. Please don't give away the ending in the reviews. And no, there is no sequel to this or alternate ending. Cowritten, as always, with CCS AnGeL, who's been terribly ill lately and just woke up from her coma. Please send all your well-wishes to her.

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August 12, 2005:

I've discovered at least _three _different fics that have plagiarized The Hyuuga Persuasion in one way or another. Now, **CCS AnGeL** and I aren't really picky; we just ask that if you're going to reference us or take any ideas from the fic, that you just have a reference and if you're so inclined, to tell one of us, either through email or just dropping us a review. Plagiarism also means taking someone else's ideas and _not citing them. _It doesn't necessarily mean taking someone else's fic and copying and pasting it word for word. Nor does it mean stealing the bare bones of an idea and rewriting it, but keeping the essential story the same. It means taking ideas, sentences, lines, _anything that is not your intellectual property _and claiming it for your own. Do it in the real world and your academic and professional career suffers for it. THE END.

So in short: if you're going to steal from us, at least have the balls to admit it.

Part Eight: TEH END

"You're late," he told her when she finally arrived.

Tenten gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I got held up." She looked in the east. They'd soon see the predawn twilight, and they best be gone before it arrived.

He flashed a grin at her. "And you can pose for my novel! And we can create new ideas together!"

"Maybe," she said, uncertain. She took one last look at the village and took a deep breath. Maybe one day, she'd be able to return.

"Regrets?"

She shook her head. "No." Definitely none. "Let's go to the mountains, Jiraiya-sama."

After all, Neji might be a good kisser. . .but Jiraiya-sama was definitely better.

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